Remember the whole Kreed Kafer debacle? Well, chiefsluke has worked out the odds of it being chance, and created the following movie.

Will Storr has published chapter 6 (Me versus Most Haunted) of his Louis Theroux style investigation of the paranormal “Will Storr vs. The Supernatural” on his MySpace account. Here is a quick snippet, but do readread the whole chapter or better still buy the book.

As the shrill breeze runs through his accurately groomed hair, and multiple diamonds sparkle on his earlobes and fingers, I watch Derek Acorah trying to pre-record a link for his television show. After his fourth fluffing, he gives himself a pantomime slap around the face and says, with a whinny, ‘Oh, I can’t act!’ The crew who are filming Derek and his co-presenter, Yvette Fielding, do not offer any comment. They just remain in position and wait for Yvette to begin, yet again. ‘Good evening,’ she says into the camera, ‘and welcome to Most Haunted Live. This is the first night out of three and we’re on the hunt for the ghost of the East Anglian witch trials. We’re here with the Most Haunted Live crew and, of course, we’ve got Derek Acorah. Derek, what are you expecting to happen here?’ ‘I feel over the next three nights,’ he says, in his rich, scouse-with-added-sugar voice, ‘you know, it’s going to be very eerie.’ ‘Ooooh, no,’ says Yvette. ‘Be prepared to be very scared,’ Derek says, with his forefinger extended and slamming through the air to give the last two words maximum dramatic impact. ‘Ooooh, no,’ Yvette says again. ‘I don’t like the sound of that at all. It’s going to be amazing.’

So here it is, courtesy of YouTube, the famous Most Haunted “Mary Loves Dick” piece where Derek gets possessed by the spirit of Dick Turpins mistress in York. Watch for Yvette trying not to laugh, and the interesting comments regarding a bet when they think the cameras have stopped filming.

Can you believe it: Derek Acorah has a guest role in the new series of Doctor Who (thanks BDO) SFX quotes an interview for the Manchester Evening News where Derek says he has “just filmed Doctor Who” where “The Doctor finds that spirits and ghosts have invaded the whole of the galaxy so he gets me along to see what we can do about it”. Weird stuff. The scene - inside some spaceship, all filmed in green-middle-of-the-night-oh-vision. The Doctor looks sceptical with a clipboard, and taking readings with his Sonic Screwdriver. Rose looking bored finally glances up at Derek, and says : “What can you see Derek? Can Sam see anything?” Derek - finger pointing from forehead starts marching around: “Ex? Exter? Ex-Ter-Min-Ate. What does that mean Sam?”

Derek Acorah’s Ghost Town van spotted in Shrewsbury.

So it’s official, Derek Acorah is to leave Most Haunted to work on his new series Ghost Towns. I can’t say I’m totally surprised. If anyone read the Heat magazine interview with Derek and Yvette Fielding it was pretty obvious that they no longer get on at all, and she wasn’t going to leave. I guess this is the end of an era, the show will never be the same again, I just wonder if Derek saw it all coming?

According to World Screen News, LivingTv has commissioned two new Derek Acorah hosted shows: “Derek Acorah’s Ghost Towns” and “The Quest for Guy Fawkes”. Here’s what they say about them:

The 8×1-hour Derek Acorah’s Ghost Towns will feature psychic Acorah and two co-presenters traveling to towns across the U.K. in their Ghost Truck to investigate paranormal activity.rnThe two-hour special The Quest for Guy Fawkes marks the 400th anniversary of the November 5, 1604 Gunpowder Plot to blow up London’s House of Parliament. Acorah, through investigation, mediumship and reconstructions, will attempt to get into the minds of Guy Fawkes and his cohorts to deeper understand their motivations and personalities

“Wiiizzzz…..Bang!! What could that mean Sam?”

Ofcom have just published a single rulebook combining all the existing broadcasting regulations. To this they’ve added rules “forbidding broadcasters from showing paranormal stunts before the 9pm watershed, or at a time when children may be likely to tune in”. According to The Times this means “entertainers who specialise in mind reading and magic like Derren Brown are also likely to be affected”, and presumably Derek Acorah types too. I must say I’m slightly baffled by this, what corruption of children’s minds are they expecting from a magician ‘reading your mind’ and telling you the card you picked from his carefully manipulated deck? Does this mean no more ‘Geoffrey Durham’ on Countdown? If this regulation had applied in the 70s and 80s would it have kept Paul Daniels and Uri Geller from our screens? Ahhh… I’m beginning to see their point.

Fancy taking the mick out of Mr Acorah. Then get yourself a Kreed Kafer = Derek Faker TShirt. They ship in from the US, but with the current exchange rate that’s quite cheap. Oh and before you ask, yes they are available in medium.

We are currently watching Most Haunted and it’s the adverts. Derek Acorah has just mentioned Highwayman Rik Eedles. Myself and Paula instantly thought this must be another anagram. Is it a coincidence that “Rik Eedles” is an anagram of “Derek Lies”? Is this Kreed Kafer all over again?