An Evening With Derek Acorah

25 January 2005

Last Monday night Paula and I went to see "An Evening With Derek Acorah". As you know I do not believe in mediums, spiritualism or psychic ability. We went to satisfy my curiosity and to confirm my belief that such shows could be performed using non-psychic techniques just as Derren Brown did in Messiah. Admittedly I did not go with an open mind, but I was interested to see if I found anything particularly puzzling, or unexplainable to me. I didn't, and my beliefs (or lack of them) remain unchanged.

Here's how I remember what happened in the show.

Introduction:
The lights went down, requiem style music starts, the music becomes more upbeat and a gravelly voice says something like "Welcome to the Psychic World of number one psychic medium Derek Acorah. Please welcome to the stage Mr Derek Acorah", and from stage-right in walks Derek wearing a dark suit hands clasped in prayer. Behind him is a large screen showing Derek's head, there is a camera man and a sound technician (presumably controlling the microphones used in the show). Behind me is a large Welsh woman with large voice and died jet black hair who immediately cried out "Derek!". We will refer to her as Myfanwy in the rest of this blog, as she was pretty entertaining too. The camera pans around the audience, giving us all a chance to wave. Derek begins by explaining that if anyone in the audience feels a connection with the info he is given they must make themselves known and a mike will be given to them (and their heads displayed 20ft high on the screen behind Derek). He then rants a bit about spiritualism, Most Haunted and explains the psychic queuing system that loved ones must obey. His spirit guide Sam will help him talk to the spirits. Throughout this there are lots of "Mmmms" and "yes's" from Myfanwy.

Spirit 1: Hilary and John Goldstein
Derek claimed to be in contact with a Hilary and John Goldstein who were a married couple. Myfanwy was desperate for these to be her relatives, and every time Derek described anything myself and Paula (not Derek) could hear her confirming or rejecting the information. The presentation went something (from memory) like:
Derek: "I have in front of me a little old lady"
Myfanwy: "yes.."
Derek: "She would have passed away in her 60s
Myfanwy: "yes.."
Derek: "She had dark hair pulled back in a bun or something"
Myfanwy: "yes..!"
Derek: "She had a bronchial problem; something wrong with her lungs"
Myfanwy: "YES.."
Derek: "Her name is Hi..lar...y Go...l...d...stein
Myfanwy: "Nope it's not her"

This was hilarious for Paula and I. Everytime Derek described anyone, Myfanwy was certain it was one of her family, and then something would cause her to say "Nope. Not him.". This happened for each of the five readings (yes Derek only did five readings in the show).

Once Derek had pointed out we were looking for married Hilary and John Goldstein and they were looking for someone up in the 'Gods' of the theatre, he asked the audience if this made sense to anyone. The first who put their hand up was a girl maybe in her thirties.

Girl: "My mum is called Hilary, and my Dad is called John, and my Mum works in Goldsmiths jewelers. Is it me Derek?".
Derek: "Have they passed away?"
Girl: "No"
Derek: "Then it's not you love."

After a couple more misses with the Goldstein's the theatre went quiet, so Derek was up an out into the audience. He ran off stage left, and appeared at the side door of the stalls (where we were sitting). With a waft of aftershave, he ran on through to the centre of the stalls. As he passed one 40-something woman, she held out her hands and Derek touched her as he passed. She immediately held them to her nose and said to her friend "Oooh, he smells lovely" then let her friend have a wiff too.

He then headed up to the 'Gods' and pleaded again for someone to claim the Goldsteins. After a few more misses, eventually a 30-something guy grabbed the mike, and said that friends of his Mum and Dad were called Hilary and John but he couldn't remember their surname as he was quite young. Quite why these people would want to contact him is beyond me, and surely Sam could have found a more deserving match, anyway Derek then proceeded to tell him a few less specific things:

"You're in a quandary about something at the moment aren't you?"
"You're wondering whether to up-sticks aren't you?"
"Someone needs to go to the dentist. You know who."
"Who's David?" (turned out this was the guys name - this impressed the audience for some reason)
"They've been watching you doing the tiling in the kitchen".

This would all be amazing, other than the fact that don't those things apply to every 30 something bloke (they certainly apply to me)? Anyway David was suitably impressed and Derek returned to the stage.

Spirit 2: Sid Barker, Reg and Lillian
Derek: "I have a well built gentleman. Very muscular. I can see bricks and a spirit level, I think he worked in the building trade. The name I'm getting, thanks Sam, is Sid. Yes Sid Ba...r...ker. I can also see, yes come forward sir, yes another chap. He's called Reg, and I'm also getting a Lillian. Does this mean anything to anyone". (again this is paraphrased from memory, and does not include loads of "OK's" and "thanks Sams" that actually occurred.

We had a load of misses again, in fact Derek was getting a little bit stroppy, reminding everyone to only put their hands up if ALL the names mean something to them. Here are a few of the misses that I can remember (there must have been 8 or 9 in all).

Woman at the front: "My grans name was Lillian. Is it her Derek?"
Derek: "What about Sid and Reg?"
Woman at the front: "Nope, don't know any."
Derek: "It's not you love"


Bloke in the stalls: "My Dad was Reg Baker, but he wasn't a brickie. Don't know Sid or Lillian though."
Derek: "Nope, try the girl at the back..."

He finally picked another bloke in the stalls, asked him who "Steve" was. Did a bit of spiritual healing on his bad back and we broke for the interval.

After the Interval: Spirit 3: Bloke who shot himself, Spirit 4: The Barratts and Spirit 5: Alice May Cambell from Scotland
After the interval Derek reappeared having got changed into a different suit. The second half went in much the same way as the first, with Derek describing a spirit, trying to find a match in the audience, running up and down the stairs, and saying fairly general things like "You should do that course" to a young studentlike girl.

When looking for Alice May Cambell from Scotland, Derek pointed out that she had terrible eyes and would say she was "as blind as a bat" without her glasses. A hand raised in the balcony and the dialogue went:
Woman: "I think my grandmothers middle name was McCambell, is it her Derek?"
Derek: "What about her eyes? Did she have problems with her eyes?"
Woman: "No. She had terrible ears though".
Paula and I doubled up at this point, it was hilarious.

As Derek came to the end of the show he did a bit of a speech on spiritualism, well a lot of a speech actually, and drew the show to a close. Myfanwy never did get to speak to her relative. I'm sure she will follow the tour around hoping to get 'contact'

He walked off stage right and as he reached the wings turned back to the stage, gestured 'follow-me' with his hand and said "Come on Sam". I can imagine his little spirit guide scampering off stage following him like a lapdog.

It was a hilarious night, and I really enjoyed the show, but for all the wrong reasons. I still remain unconvinced by the act, but loved the evening. I have tickets booked to see Derren Brown again this year, let's see how the shows compare.

Hello. My name is Roy. I live in rural Oxfordshire.

This is my blog. I write about things that interest me, make me laugh or that I want to remember.